Battleship Down.

I absolutely must plug the new Travis album.It's right up there with "The Man Who" and "The Invisible Band".I love the sound of the new album.Fran sounds better than ever and the songwriting is solid.It's a tight album,probably the best this year along with "Favorite Worst Nightmare".

Must Listen to:

Battleships
Selfish Jean
Closer
Under The Moonlight
My Eyes
Big Chair

Until next time.

AJ

Not another Music Rant.

Download "Hard Road" by The Shore.While you're at it,download "Take what's mine" and "Hold on" too.Hell,download their whole album.

Note:Download,NOT buy.

Not because you download music anyway,but because you cant buy it even if you wanted to.That's because The Shore didn't have a record deal till only a short while back.

It's a shame that a solid band like The Shore took this long to get a record deal.See,this is exactly what's wrong with the Music Industry.The crazy old guy was right.MTV is to music what KFC is to chicken!

Songs called "I wanna have your baby","I wanna fuck you" and "Buy you a drink" get hours of radio airplay,while these brilliant unsigned bands sit around waiting for that phone call.Maybe I should get a tan and write a song about the pros and cons of anal sex.I could finally buy that Island I always wanted.

Not-so random fact:There is a sub genre called "Coke-rap".Pretty self explanatory.The lyrics deal with the trouble these guys have to put up with to buy coke.And they want to ban smoking in movies.Sheesh!

Ever wondered how suddenly being a "skank" is "cool"? How "slutty" is the new "classy"? Hard to miss.The only way "Hip Hop" music has REALLY touched lives is that it probably helped a lot of talentless,fat groupies with a 5 page long criminal record,get laid.Amen to that.I wonder if these musicians ever reflect on the lives they've ruined through their rants.I'm not going to call it lyrics,coz you gotta make "music" to have lyrics.Here I go again.Guess it really does bother me.

Still,everyone's entitled to their own kinda music.You have every right to like Hip Hop.But just so you know,it's not music.

PS:I'm digging the Dirty Pretty Things lately.I hope Pete kicks that habit and reforms the Libertines.It is of course,not going to happen.Kate Moss will be Pete's Yoko Ono,and they won't need a reason to end up naked on a bed in a New York furniture shop.No wonder I always rooted for Carl Barat all those years.

Rock n Roll,baby!

Until next time.

AJ

This week in God

How can you not love Sarah Silverman after yesterday's MTV Movie Awards?It's been a while since Jack Black hosted,and the show hasn't REALLY been funny since then(Jessica Alba was good eye candy,but NOT funny!).The first four minutes were GOLD.She is hilarious!It took her FOUR minutes to bitch about Jack Nicholson,Mischa Barton,Adam Sandler,Cisco Adler's balls,That Spiderman redhead,Samuel L Jackson and PARIS HILTON!Her bit on Paris was plain ballsy!She was right THERE!Now that's ballsy!Google it!

So the other day(or night,it's all relative,really!) I logged on hoping to indugle in some juicy goss,and there you have it! She's managed to pull it off again!(Notice I'm not calling her a "spoilt brat",no.That doesn't quite have impact.)She's out of Jail!C'mooon! It has been 3 days!THREE!Not 45 but THREE.1,2 and 3.The Prison Spokesperson said it was 5.I'd like to find out which school HE went to.Turns out she cited "Medical problems" for her release.She wasn't eating their food,they say.So that's a good reason to let her out?Did no one notice that she never eats any food?

So anyway,there is a GOD,apparently.She's been sentenced back.She'll have to serve the remainder of her original 45 days in prison.

So...that makes me a bad person,right?

NO.

Because it's not just anybody.It's Paris Hilton.Someone I've hated with a passion ever since I saw her blow up on the Internet,oh-so intelligently captioned "Paris Hilton,Socialite".I still have trouble figuring out what the hell a Socialite "DOES".I mean here's a person who's been in a sex tape that shows that she's more interested in the camera than actually HAVING SEX.Says a lot,doesn't it?

Boy,I feel lighter.Can't wait for tomorrow.

Until next time,I'm back to save the Universe

AJ

Next Season,folks!

Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse. What's in their heads? Seriously?

Have you seen the Third Season Finale?I usually reserve words like "Genius" for people like Noel Gallagher,Richard Curtis and Agatha Christie.So this is a pretty big deal.These two are nothing short of Genius.

Just when the Internet "marks" started bitching and whining about the Third Season and how bad it was,CC and DL pretty much shoved their fists into everyone's mouth and made them watch.A "Ben" flashback.An Other's flashback!.That was like 3 seasons in the making!and they have Charlie's flashback following that?.See,the thing is people like me know and trust DL/CC's work.I know they won't do a "Dave" or "Stranger in a strange land" again.They know better.They get the numbers.When I read the episode listing,I knew they had something KILLER up their sleeves.No one would waste a Ben Flashback on their 21st epsode.Nuh-uh!.

So I literally avoided all Lost spoiler and rumour sites till the Season Finale.It was hard and I'm proud of myself for holding out.So I rush home from SAD Studio at 11am and start downloading.By evening,I'm all settled in with the Doritos and Energy Drink.98 minutes later,It was over.It was a Flash-forward,not a Flashback!.Jack and Kate are off the island.That's right.Does'nt that destroy the nomenclature of the show?.

No.They are,still,LOST.And how!

Everyone was blabbing about how Lost should bow out while its on top and not drag it for three more seasons.I must admit,I felt,one more season and that's it. Then it hit me like a bullet!.There's STILL so much you can do with the show whilst keeping people interested.It's not some show about 8 guys escaping from a prison.It's not a show where random guys discover they can stop time.It's so much more than just a show.They just added a whole new dimension to the show,that'll make anyone with half a brain to tune into the Season premiere in February 2008.

Attaboy,Team!

Until Next Time,I'm back to rescue Vincent.

AJ

PS:
Locke is alive!Yaaay!I don't know about you,but I think Richard is just plain creepy.Who's in the coffin?Why is Jack so miserable? What happened to Ben? Do Penny and Desmond Re-unite? Is the Smoke Monster for real?Who is Kate staying with? Is Christian Shephard alive? What's with Walt? Who's Jacob? Is Naomi from Dharma? Do Nikki and Paulo Live?Does Mikhail NEVER die?Does Hurley lose weight? Is it all happening in Vincent's head?

Aaaaaargh!!Teleporting much,Hiro??

Token Anti Bono Blog Entry

****News Flash********

AJ hates Bono.

Not a big surprise for people who hear me taking potshots at Bono 53 times an hour,but hey,I finally decided to answer it...

WHY do I hate Bono?..Seriously..why?


I hate Bono. There, I said it. Not the most popular view, I accept, but nonetheless valid in every way. I simply cannot stand the man, with his smug self-importance and completely ridiculous sunglasses. The press, politicians and general public alike revere the stunted Irish poseur with a dedication completely undeserving of his merits.

First and foremost, he is talentless.Period. U2 are one of the blandest, most uninspiring, overrated bands on the planet, and yet millions of people worship them as demi-gods. There is a simple answer: anyone who likes U2 instantly demonstrates a complete lack of any discernable musical taste. Is it surprising that those people who fill stadiums to hear Bono's catatonic wailing also laud praise on other, equally dire artists, like Bruce "born in the USA" Springsteen and contemporary indie vomit-inducers The Killers or Pretend bands like Gorillaz?

Their songs are dull in the extreme. They feign sincerity and completely lack any redeeming qualities. U2 are everything non-music fans love: unchallenging, with the semblance of "cool" and without the baggage of imagination or creativity. It is, of course, no wonder that Bono is the perfect crutch for middle-aged Labour politicians to try and "connect" with the youth. The ignorance is palpable. But so is Bono's gall: the tragedy is that Bono and U2 believe the hype attributed to them - they take themselves devastatingly seriously. I have little enough respect for the man as a musician, his supposed profession, and yet am I somehow expected to listen to his words as political orator?

I think not. I mean, what sort of a name is "Bono" anyway? It sounds like a dog biscuit. And then you have "The Edge". The Edge of what, exactly? It's almost painful to watch their pompous posturing in interviews and in videos as they labour over their latest indigestible offering, no doubt chuckling to themselves about how clever they are in fooling the great British public, and wondering how long they can ride this seemingly un-ending wave of mediocrity. U2 smack of mid-life crises, inflated egos and a disproportionate sense of their own self-importance. In one of the most ridiculous turn of events, Bono's name was even linked with the job as Head of the World Bank. Another complete misjudgement was witnessed in channel 4's recent British Music Hall of Fame program, where U2 were automatically initiated as founding members, to the horror and dismay, I am sure, of thousands of people around the country.

To think that U2 have had more of an impact on British music than Oasis,Pink Floyd.Led Zep,The Smiths,The Clash or Sabbath to name a few, is faintly ridiculous. The latter has single-handedly moved the boundaries of what one can expect from a rock band in a way that U2 cannot even contemplate.

Further examples of U2's nauseating capabilities was seen at a recent concert in San Diego where Bono, blindfolded and kneeling, arms above his head, simulated photos from the Abu Ghraib prison. Later on in the set he reportedly reprised parts of Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech, saying he too had a dream for all the world to be equal. Undoubtedly, because of his fame, Bono has an opportunity to do good, but he is in a far easier position than most to do so. It is his self-engineered portrayal as selfless enfranchiser of the dispossessed and his arrogant self-approximation of greatness which makes him so unbearably odious.

Content with Match of the Day theme tunes and Top of the Pops appearances, U2 represent all that is wrong with British music. That such banality under the guise of quality can become so successful, while other truly fantastic bands and artists scrabble at their feet picking up the crumbs, fills me with despair.

Perhaps I'll finally give them Pop Queens a chance.


FYI,though,Liam is GOD.

Until next time,I'm back to save the music industry.

AJ

Cheap Pops

A quick post to plug "Hot Fuzz"-THE most amazing movie I've seen in years!

I went in with mammoth expectations(Makers of "Shaun of the dead"-what did ya expect!!!???) and the movie still surpassed all of them.Simon Pegg is brilliant as usual and Nick Frost is..well,Nick Frost.It was not a movie,It was an EXPERIENCE.I couldnt agree more with a review I read.."Agatha Christie gettin truimphantly bu*****ed by Michael Bay".Brilliant.

Also can't wait for Knocked Up.I'm betting Apptow will outdo The 40 Year Old Virgin.I LOVE the rushes of the movie,and Katherine Heigl is of course,a goddess!

Until Next Time,I'm back to kill Sylar

AJ

A Cold Day In Hell

Ah,those 3 painfully long hours I spent in a queue outside a shabby run down shack inside the National Library premises. Interestingly enough, this was not the queue to cast my vote, but the queue to collect my Voter ID card.Seriously,what was I thinking?

After those 3 hours ,as I walked out of the gate with my brand new voting card in my hand, I actually felt faintly patriotic. Here,in my hands,was documentary proof that I am a citizen of the country(My driver's license was still 2 weeks away,how I passed,I'll never know).Of course the photo on the card looked nothing like me.It looked a cross between Charles Manson's mug shot and Rowan Atkinson's blank stare .Still I rejoiced in the fact that my name was spelt correctly and they got my age and sex right.That's just plain good luck.

The last week of April saw the bong news channels flooded with news stories and "exit polls" predicting the fortunes of Buddha and Mamata(cant believe I actually typed that out).The coverage was mind boggling. Opinion polls, interviews, analysis. .et all.Elderly bearded people wearing stuff you sleep in predicting the future of Calcutta.I was excited. I'd be voting for the first time! The only thing that worried me was how long it would take to get that stupid ink stain off my nail. But I could live with that.

The real dilemma struck me late Wednesday evening, roughly 13 hours before I actually voted. I had no idea who the candidates were!.So I asked around and I got quite a shock.I had to choose between Tapas Pal and Biplab Chatterjee. Yeah. You read right. Not exactly Sophie's choice!

My first vote,ever and these two bumbling b-grade movie star pretend morons vying for it.And oh, the third candidate was the local goon.Though I contemplated not voting at all and being fashionably "urban cool" in doing so, I decided to go ahead with it.How bad could it be?

Obscenely early on Thursday morning ,I arrived at the Voting "station". A run down corporation school with empty whiskey bottles conspicuously placed behind the doors( I kid you not.THAT scary!). I waited for my turn .I waited and waited. Finally, I entered the little "tent" they call a booth, where the voting officer (?) looked up at my face and tried to find some hint of resemblance between myself and the photo on the card. Amidst the roars of the people behind me telling me "hurry up!!", I walked up to the “machine”.Very Floydish.

It’s irony at its cruelest .I'm finally authorized to vote for a candidate I think will make a difference and here I am left with two insufferable clods-one who flaunts his pot belly in a very revealing fishnet shirt-and the other infamous for performing what is probably the highest number of on-screen rapes.The latter's movies range from just south of low budget porn while the former's cinematic escapades are the subject of bengali medium ridicule.No offense.

Sad situation. The bright side ? Thank god “MLA Fatakesto”(the promos crack me up!) is just a movie and not a real campaign! Now wouldn’t that be a real tragedy!

I’ll come up with a “What was Mithun thinking?” blog in the near future....NOT.

Until Next Time,I'm back to save the Universe.

AJ